To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
