4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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