Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
