Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
