I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no, he came in my armpit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Actions speak louder than pants.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
