i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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