the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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