Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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