I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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