what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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