A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
