thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
