I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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