that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
