Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
