..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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