Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
