sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
