What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I wear drunk well.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
