Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
