I think my vagina is haunted
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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