please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
