i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
