You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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