I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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