Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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