just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
