yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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