my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she pinky promised me she was 18
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
