I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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