Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
birth control should be required to get into college
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
