U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
