life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
