Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
