let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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