Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
