Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
