His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
