super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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