thus making me awesome and them whores
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
