Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
