After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
