Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
