Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
