i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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