he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
