I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
