this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize