Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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