Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
