everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's get the cat blown out
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
