Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm both gender and math confused
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
